Thursday, July 31, 2008

Church to flock: "Save the planet - kill yourself"

The Carolinian Online

Reverend Chris Korda of the Church of Euthanasia. The church preaches population control through suicide, abortion, sodomy, and cannibalism.

File this under "weird things thriving in the dark corners of the Internet."

The Church of Euthanasia ( is a non-profit "educational foundation" whose only commandment is "thou shalt not procreate." The group reminds humans of their responsibility for balancing the planet's natural resources and encourages them to pitch in through the four pillars - suicide, abortion, cannibalism and sodomy - all in the name of saving the planet.

The whole thing would seem like some sort of sick, deadpan joke on anyone who comes across the site - if it wasn't done so well and so thoroughly. Along with a ticker keeping track of the Earth's overpopulation, the site offers helpful hints on how to kill yourself, having fun with of all types of sodomy and getting emergency contraception.

The group's quarterly webzine (cleverly titled "Snuff It") is a treasure-trove of suggestions on how you too can contribute to the slow but certain decimation of the human species.

The site's most offensive feature (or most hilarious, depending on your viewpoint) would have to be the video for "I Like to Watch," a pop song by the church's Rev. Chris Korda about masturbating to footage of the twin towers coming down. A sample line? "That plane-shaped hole/Really gets me hot/But the big ball of fire/Is the money shot/I like to watch."

It somehow makes sense that people bent on doing away with all humanity would be into techno music.

For $8 you can become one of the church's hundreds of card-carrying members. Or, if you're feeling cheap, you can just go to the "family album" section and get a vicarious thrill browsing photos of the group's many festivals, protests and demonstrations. My favorite? The Fetus Barbecue featuring baby dolls on the grill and signs like "Thank You For Not Breeding" and "Eat a Queer Fetus For Jesus."

You just don't see really funny shock-art like that anymore.

Taken with a grain of salt and a little detached bemusement, the site is hilarious. But, as the "press" section illustrates in dozens of articles from newspapers and magazines all over the country, some are blaming the site for the deaths of their loved ones and the corruption of youth. Which seems like a light insult to hurl at a group that's encouraging people to stop breeding and off themselves so that we can do away with civilisation as we know it.