Thursday, April 2, 2009

The War Against BAD THINGS

PLACE: A city street in your town, USA.

TIME: The not too distant future.

FBI: Are you A. Citizen?

CITIZEN: Yes I am.

FBI: Come with us, you're under arrest.

CITIZEN: On what charge?

FBI: We don't have to tell you that.

CITIZEN: I want to call my lawyer.

FBI: We won't let you do that.

CITIZEN: You have to, it's my right!

FBI: You don't have any rights.


FBI: Sez the President. He's decided that you are an "enemy combatant" and as such you are not entitled to any Constitutional rights.

CITIZEN: BUT I haven't done anything.

FBI: The President will be the judge of that. In fact he's already made the decision. Besides, it's not what you've done, it's we think you were going to do.

CITIZEN: Based on what evidence?

FBI: We can't show you the evidence. It's classified.

CITIZEN: How can I defend myself at my trial if you won't tell me want the evidence against me is?

FBI: You get a trial. You're an enemy combatant, remember? We don't even have to charge you with anything. But in about a month, we'll hold a press conference telling everybody what we think you were up to, and that they can all sleep soundly because we've got you safely under lock and key and we intend to keep you there until the war is over.

CITIZEN: What war?

FBI: The War Against Bad Things.

CITIZEN: When will this war be over?

FBI: When we've eliminated all the bad things in the world.

CITIZEN: But that will never happen!

FBI: Now you're getting the idea.

CITIZEN: So let me get this straight. You're arresting me for something I haven't even done yet. You won't tell me what I'm charged with or what evidence you have against me. I don't get to talk to a lawyer. I don't get a trial . I don't have any opportunity to refute the charges or defend myself against them. You're just going to strip me of my Constitutional rights and lock me up for what amounts to a life sentence based on the whim of the President?

FBI: Is this a great country or what? God Bless America!